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Perhaps it's the season, perhaps the time of year. It could be the weather or circumstances here. But for whatever reason, I've been hearing and expressing that common phrase, "I'm tired." Of what, of who, of when, of where- I do not know and you do not care. I spent a large part of today doing nothing. I sat in bed, looked for anime to download, watched a recommendation from Lawry (5cm/sec) and did nothing. Was it satisfying? Replenishing? Rewarding? Relieving? Not in the least bit. The piles of piles of clutter still cluttering and piling up in my house and room. The midterm, labs still looming and due - I had barely managed to escape that reality for a brief moment - or not even. It's not nothing I want to do, it's not sleep I need. I'm tired but not from being awake. I'm tired because I'm not me. School, work, church - things that could define me on paper but bring no joy. The joy from doing something I love - seems so distant. When my fingers felt the thread and needle going back and forth through fabric cut by my design. When the hammer hits the nail in a contraption we theoretically think will work and now just need to try. Jumping off a diving board, singing and dancing around at home, stitching together a movie or my face on another. Somehow, I'm missing joy. It's probably school, the lack of parents at home, the perpetuality of life and the drama amongst peers. I'm tired.
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| | Posted 3/2/2009 9:06 PM - 40 Views - 6 eProps - 4 comments
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