| | I'm twenty one today. No much more of a man than last year, maybe even less. More afraid of the world outside, feeling like I'm drifting into space, jettison'd from the spacecraft of childhood. Drifting not by choice. It's my birthday today and I don't really care. I've become overly selfish, too consumed with myself and incapable of thinking of others in a real way. All the benevolent ideas and talk amount to nothing, I'm all about me. Any act of kindness, any sort of deed has been about me. My ego, my desire for acceptance, my pride. And it turns out, that I have not love. A resounding gong.
So what's going to change. Probably nothing. I'm stuck in the rut of life, there's nothing I can do about it. Sounds lame and hopeless, pessimistic. I can try to pull myself out - probably won't end well. Am I too comfortable where I am? Too comfortable to change and try something new? Too satisfied with being liked by everyone? Love your enemies. I haven't made many or any I know of. It's easy when people like you - but it's not love. So that's this year, love. Real love. Which really requires very little talk. So this post can end.
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| | Posted 1/6/2009 12:25 AM - 23 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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